Helpmate

25 Oct

Prayer is the most powerful and important means of strengthening, shaping, caring, loving, and transforming my husband, my marriage, my family, and myself. God is capable of things far beyond my imagination and will answer prayers, specific prayers, with specific answers, when I fall on my knees before Him! Prayer requires faith and faith demands action.

In her book The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian beautifully captures the motivation we should have as we pray for our husbands. “The power of a praying wife is not a means of gaining control over your husband so don’t get your hopes up! In fact it’s quite the opposite. It’s laying down all claims to power in and of yourself, and relying on God’s power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, and your marriage. The power is not given to wield like a weapon in order to beat back an unruly beast. It’s a gentle tool of restoration appropriated through the prayers of a wife who longs to do right more than be right and to give life more than get even. It is a way to invite God’s power into your husband’s life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately yours, too.”

Praying for my husband gives me an opportunity to identify my husband’s needs, wants, desires, challenges, and gifts. It gives me an opportunity to take these before God, lay them at His feet, and trust that He will take the reigns. It absolves me from being a controlling woman, a nagging wife, and it absolves me from the pressure of needing to change my man. God will work out my man. My job is to lay my husband at the feet of Jesus, embrace who he is, and support him as he grows into the man God made him to be. Furthermore, I have to trust that God can and will work in my marriage, in my life, and in my husband’s life!  My husband is not perfect…but guess what, neither am I. The Lord is perfect. My job is to seek the Lord and have confidence. He is the source for all I want to see happen in my marriage. It’s not my job to worry about how He will accomplish His plan. It’s my responsibility to pray and it’s God’s responsibility to answer.

That being said, as much as I believe prayer is invaluable, I also firmly believe many women use prayer as a crutch to avoid the down and dirty work of serving their husbands. We pray for our husbands to change, for our relationships to ignite themselves, and for passion to wash over us like the Holy Ghost. But sometimes we need to change our own actions to revolutionize our relationship and ignite sparks. What type of action should we take? From the very beginning a woman’s purpose was clearly defined. God took a look at Adam and said, “It is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him (Genesis 2:18) So why does our blood pressure rise at the mention of the word helper. Somehow we associate weakness and inferiority with the one who assists? In John 14:16, Jesus comforts his disciples with the promise of the Holy Spirit, referring too Him as “a helper.” By addressing the Holy Spirit as a Helper, Jesus honors the position of someone who assists. The Holy Spirit encourages, comforts, comes alongside, and helps. Women are a true picture of beauty and grace when they follow His example. As wives, we are called to be helpmates, to love and serve our husbands. Granted there is more to our essential being than service. And, for the record, I am not saying your husband shouldn’t serve you (He should, but we’re not talking about him!).  As we think about serving, we must set aside our own needs and tap into the needs of our man.  So, get on your knees and pray for him, but also take the opportunity to bless him in other ways. Just as faith without works is dead, so is serving our husbands without action!  Cover your man in prayer and be a loving helper in the process.

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